En el nombre de Jesús

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of to-do lists and emotions as I've been prepping to leave to go to Nicaragua on a clean water trip, or as my devotional last night said, I'm getting ready to "travel with a purpose." Between finishing up projects for work, running around to countless stores to make sure I have everything I need, volunteering at church and Girls On The Run, and then remembering to do things like laundry, eat, and sleep, it's been busy to say the very least.

All week I've been flooded with texts and messages and in-person conversations of "Are you ready?!" "You must be so excited!" "When are you leaving?!" "OMG you leave so soon!" All I could say in response is "I'm so nervous! I don't even know why." 

I honestly didn't know why I was so nervous until last night when I was in the middle of our first pre-trip devotional from Living Water International, the organization that my church partners with to make these trips happen.

They asked, "Do you have any fears or apprehensions about going to a new place?" No, I don't get apprehensive about things like this. I love learning about other cultures, and people and what they love -- mid-sentence my hand stopped writing. I knew why I was nervous.



"As you travel to your destination, remember that Jesus calls us to travel with a purpose," the devotional reminded me earlier, "Whether we venture across the street or across the globe, travel gives us opportunities to make meaningful connections for the sake of God's kingdom."

No, I don't get apprehensive about things like this. I love learning about other cultures, and people and what they love --

I was nervous because this trip is unlike any I've ever been on. It most certainly isn't vacation, not that I went into it with that as the purpose. I signed up because I believe in the right to equal access to the things that meet basic human needs, because I love teaching and seeing the eyes of children light up when they feel accomplished and empowered, and because most of all I just love people. Going on a trip like this has always been something that has tugged at my heart since I was a kid. At 12, if you asked me why I would say that I wanted to help people and make a difference.

I was drawn to this trip for those reasons but also for so much more. It's more than simply "making a difference." It's impacting lives. It's changing people's futures. It's bringing new life. I chose this trip because it was filled with purpose, but I what I didn't realize was that purpose would be the very thing that would worry me. Yet I had every right to be nervous, right? I mean, the stakes are high. I was nervous that I wouldn't be able to make as significant an impact as I could here at home because of the language barrier, cultural barriers, and a host of other things. But then my eye caught a question that I had answered on the previous page of the devotional, "Read Acts 1:1-3. What work has God called you to do, and how can you glorify him through it?" As I read over my response from 15 minutes earlier I saw confidence, purpose. I know exactly what I am being called to do and God has called me specifically to this time and place to make a meaningful, lasting impact. I have complete faith that He has and will continue to equip me for what He calls me to in spite of my fears and doubts.

So if you were wondering why some of this post was written in past tense; no, I haven't gone on the trip yet and everything was amazing and once I got there all of my worries were gone. I wrote in past tense because my worry was washed away before leaving. God reminded me that he is a God who is bigger than all of my fears. He reminded me that he transcends language and culture barriers. He reminded me that everyday when I wake up he looks at me and says, "Please, believe in yourself as much as I do." He reminded me that he has put incredible people in my life, like my grandma, who email me things like, "The Lord picks the ones who can handle his work. He certainly picked you." THAT is the kind of faith-confidence that I want to model in my life.

As I continue to prepare to leave on Saturday and as I'm in Nicaragua next week I ask that you pray (if it befits you), first and foremost for the 400 adults and 80 children who live in the village of Lomas del Panesillo. Pray that we hit water and that the entire well-building process goes smoothly. Pray that the children we will be teaching receive us well and that we will have no issues communicating with them. Pray that my team doesn't lose the determination and passion to do whatever it takes to love the people we meet, to listen to them, learn about their fears, hopes, and dreams, and to boldly proclaim the name of the One who sent us.

And last but most certainly not least, I need to once again thank everyone who donated to make all of this possible. The impact that your gift will help to make is eternal, and I am so grateful and honored to be able to build upon your compassion and generosity. I couldn't do any of it without YOU!


Now just to...
Change camera batteries AND PACK EXTRA
Go to the bank
Deflate 2 soccer balls
TAKE ANTI-MALARIALS BEFORE YOU LEAVE ON SATURDAY. DON'T FORGET.
Continue pre-trip devotionals
Check-in with United on Friday after dinner
Pack extra socks
Pack Bible, journal, life group/book club book for plane reading
Review flashcards en inglés y español
Pack toiletries
Double check suitcases against packing list

Breathe.
Eat.
Sleep.


Clothed in peace (and so much excitement!!) through the chaos,
Kelly